Talk:On Your Mark

Untitled

The scene changes again, now to bright daylight and blue sky. The two men are driving a
sportscar down an empty road. One of them helps the girl up; she spreads her wings; he holds
her hands as she gains confidence, and finally with a nudge she is airborne.

This is how it happens the second time. When it happens the first time, she is worried and the man lets go before she's ready. --OGoncho 18:56, 7 Feb 2005 (UTC)

Really ? You've got a fine observation skill ! :) I think I will try to make some more screenshots of the clip, notably

• The accident between the truck and the helicopter-like thingy
• The truck falling
• The truck activating its retro-boosters thingies

and now, thinks to you, might be interesting too to compare the scene in the intro and in the end.

Fascinating little clip, is it not ? :) Rama 07:58, 8 Feb 2005 (UTC)

Winged Apostle theory

Just wondering if the theory about On Your Mark's relation to Nausicaa should be added or not--here's a quote from IMDB about it:

"In the Nausicaa comic, there is a legend of a winged apostle (a fresco of her on a ceiling looks extraordinarily like the angel from On Your Mark), who the reader latter discovers may have returned to the earth on several occasions throughout history, when the world was in peril. Spoilers: By the end of the series, though, we learn that everything--plants, animals, Ohmu, even humans--have been genetically engineered or altered to survive in a world contaminated by nuclear war. As it turns out, the winged apostle (the new one being Nausicaa) may well have been a genetic trait, timed by scientists to "go off" every few generations to help them with the pre-designed events leading up to the cleansing of the world. I think that maybe the angel in On Your Mark was the first of these--a prototype version that may have passed into legend by Nausicaa's time, making the music video a kind of prequel to Nausicaa.

Anyway, watch the music video, watch the Nausicaa anime, and read the Nausicaa comics. They are likely all related."

I know the article already states that the angel-like figure bears some resemblance to the character Nausicaa. I dunno, it's a thought :)...

Miyazaki an Athiest?!

"Miyazaki is known to be atheist[citation needed]" - Where did this fact come from? This seems completely contradictory when taking into consideration the blatant shinto/buddhist references scattered throughout his films, I mean just take a look at spirited away, a bath house for kami..Totoro..etc. etc..this is retarded.

Miyazaki is a humanist, feminist, and a marxist. It would not be suprising at all if he was an atheist. Just because Japanese culture apears in a Japanese movie by a Japanese artist it does not mean that said artist fully supports those positions. Are you going to claim that Miyazaki must be a wizard because he obviously thinks magic is real? After all he made Majo no Takkyūbin. Nope, I am afraid that the the only thing around here that is 'retarded' is you.--4.159.113.4 03:35, 29 July 2006 (UTC)

Inspiration from Chernobyl disaster.

I've removed the "Citation needed" tag from the "partially inspired by the Chernobyl disaster" sentence, in the"Analysis" sub-section. The sarcophagus in the background, with the abandoned village, and radiation warning signs in Russian would make the inspiration self-evident, I feel. And although Miyazaki initally says "You can interpret it anyway you want" in his OYM interview [1], he makes a reference to Chernobyl 2 sentences later. Good enough to count as inspiration for me. Johnmc 12:08, 18 October 2007 (UTC)

Radioactivity = Death Of Policemen

I've removed the section which implied the two policemen may have died from radioactive poisoning, hence them stopping their car. Since the video depicts bright and lush fields of vegetation, it is impossible for there to be much if any radiation present in the very air, much less the ground.

I believe the video depicts a world where no one has bothered going to the surface world for several hundred years, if not more, given the technology level in the crater city compared to the one directly outside. So inhabitants of the crater have no idea the world outside isn't dangerous anymore, but keep to it just in case.

Of course, without citations or quotes from the author himself, how are we to know? —Preceding unsigned comment added by 70.83.146.151 (talk) 20:37, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

Radiation poisoning would not kill the two men THAT fast. More than likely they stopped to watch the girl fly away, or they just stopped to get their bearings now that they're "outside" now, or they simply stopped in a more symbolic fashion because they have done what they worked to do--free the winged girl. 70.66.74.41 (talk) 11:28, 8 June 2008

Radiation poisoning wouldn't kill them nearly that fast, true, but the lush plantlife doesn't mean the radiation is gone. Chernobyl, which inspired the music video, is known for having quite a lot of wildlife and greenery all around it, even in areas that humans cannot go safely.(UTC)

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:On Your Mark/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hmlarson (talk · contribs) 22:40, 29 December 2013 (UTC)

Hello, I have begun the review and will be posting feedback below. As issues are addressed, please add a note to the relevant item below. Thank you. Hmlarson (talk) 23:52, 29 December 2013 (UTC)

Question

Is this article intended to be about the song as well as the video or just the video? If it includes the song, information about the background, chart performance, track listing of released single, and credits & personnel sections would make this a more thorough article in line with WP:GACR #3. Hmlarson (talk) 23:51, 29 December 2013 (UTC)

Lead

• 2nd paragraph: "The film follows..." Please change to "The music video follows..."
• 3rd paragraph: "well received" or "well-received" ? Please check/confirm.

Synopsis

* Is there a link to the official music video that can be used as a reference for this section?

• 1st paragraph: "sci-fi style" Please change to "sci-fi-style" and link to Science fiction
• 1st paragraph: "a tower topped by the gigantic neon-lit eyes" remove "the"
• 2nd paragraph: add link to Alfa Romeo Giulietta to "Giuleietta Spider passo corto"
• 2nd paragraph: suggested ce for "One of them helps the girl up; she spreads her wings; he holds her hands as she gains confidence" --> "As one of the men helps the girl up, she spreads her wings and he holds her hands while she gains confidence."
• 3rd paragraph: "the identity of the two men revealed" --> add "are" before revealed
• 4th paragraph: "The two men are haunted by the fate the girl will suffer and formulate a plan to rescue the girl." --> please replace "the girl" at the end of the sentence with "her"
• 4th paragraph: "They escape..." Who? the three of them or just the two men? A minor copy edit would help clarify.
• 4th paragraph "fugitive's trunk" should this be fugitives' (plural) or is there only one fugitive?

Production

• "Miyazaki wrote and directed the music video for "On Your Mark", although the song has previously been released in 1994 as part of the single "Heart"." --> change to "was previously released" and add link to Heart if it exists.
• add wikilink for Toshio Suzuki
• who is McCarthy? please expand

Analysis

• General: Consider using past tense consistently throughout this section (e.g., noted, realized, revealed, reflected, etc.)
• 1st paragraph: "The deliberately non-linear and enigmatic work was purposely made to be cryptic in order to stimulate the imaginations of the viewers and their interpretations of the music video." suggested ce: The deliberately non-linear and enigmatic style of the music video was purposely made to be cryptic in order to stimulate the imaginations of its viewers and their interpretations of the music video."
• 1st paragraph: Who is Cavallaro? please expand / introduce who s/he is.
• 1st paragraph: the last 3 sentences start with "Miyazaki also". Please ce for improved readability/flow. Repeat for similar issues in second paragraph of this section.

Reception

• 1st paragraph: "The music video has been well received." --> "was well-received."
• 1st paragraph: italicize name of EX Magazine and add link if article exists
• 1st paragraph: "praised the films attention" --> "praised the film's attention"

Releases

• "Chage & Aska would also use the film in concerts" --> "also used the film in concerts"
• When and to what audience(s) was it released on Laserdisc?
• "The film is included on the All Things Ghibli Special Short Short DVD with set to both the original "On Your Mark" and "Castles in the Air"." --> what does with set mean? please copy edit.
• add link to Castles in the Air if article exists
• ""Castles in the Air", has the same melody, but different lyrics, it was included on the English-language album One Voice: The Songs of Chage & Ask" --> suggested ce: "Featuring the same melody but different lyrics than "On Your Mark", "Castles in the Air" was included on the English-language album One Voice: The Songs of Chage & Ask."

Infobox

• add format, genre, recorded, writer, producer and any other fields for which info is available

• I haven't forgotten about this! I'll get to it later today. I've been really busy as of late. Thank you for reviewing it with such detail. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 06:49, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

• @Hmlarson: I've done the changes and some additional ones. I decided to go for two infoboxes, one for the film (the prominent one) and keep the single information. I tracked down that second Japanese Laserdisc release and cited it and re-organized the section better. Does it look good now? ChrisGualtieri (talk) 04:07, 4 January 2014 (UTC)

• @ChrisGualtieri:, I've gone through the edits and made some additional ones myself. I've bolded a couple questions above that weren't answered yet. Can you take a look? I think if this article is about the song as well as the music video as the lead indicates, more information about the song is needed. If it's intended to be about the music video alone, perhaps a revised title like We Found Love (music video) and lead (to indicate music video rather than song) would be more appropriate.Hmlarson (talk) 03:09, 6 January 2014 (UTC)

• Personally, I wanted this to be about just the music video since the song itself is supposively rated Gold and everything on the Japanese Wiki is really sparse and not cited to anything. This one's up to you, the Japanese Wiki has them split as the focus is really different, but the two are really separate productions since Miyazaki purposely misinterpreted the lyrics and made this as a side project. I'd be willing to round it out with the song if there is any objection to passing otherwise. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 05:25, 6 January 2014 (UTC)

• @ChrisGualtieri: Ok, how about change the title to On Your Mark (music video) and modify the lead (particularly "is a song") to reflect that. Or if you want to keep them together, add more information about the song. Hmlarson (talk) 19:24, 6 January 2014 (UTC)

• I don't think I need to change the title since there is no song article yet and the article lead was adjusted already and I just removed the song infobox. So it should be good now. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 05:02, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

• I've made some additional copy edits and fixed a broken link in the External Links section. Looks good to me. Hmlarson (talk) 05:32, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

GAR Criteria Checklist

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   no images available for use

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   Meets all criteria for good article. Hmlarson (talk) 05:32, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

• Thank you! ChrisGualtieri (talk) 05:53, 13 January 2014 (UTC)

Section headers

If this article is about a music video then shouldn't Synopsis, Production, Reception etc. be included as Level 2 headers? I don't think it needs a "Music video" section since the entire article is already about it. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 18:52, 13 January 2014 (UTC)

Makes sense to me so I've made the changes you suggested.Verso.Sciolto (talk) 09:21, 16 January 2014 (UTC)

Song article created, re-naming this article?

An article for the song has been created. Should this music video article be re-named now? Are there any other links etc that need to be created to direct searchers to the respective pages for On Your Mark (song) or this music video article? Verso.Sciolto (talk) 09:27, 16 January 2014 (UTC)

I think this might be the primary topic of readers coming to the page, the article could be hatnoted, but I don't think we need to rename it. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 19:06, 16 January 2014 (UTC)

About the unreliable sources tag

Dani Cavallaro's publications have been designated as generally unreliable sources in this discussion at the reliable sources noticeboard. Citations to her work can be replaced with more high-quality ones or removed, and the tag can be taken off once complete. —TechnoSquirrel69 (sigh) 20:23, 6 June 2024 (UTC)